Barriers to Higher Learning

As I sat in my room and completed my drawing I realized how I procrastinated this assignment.  I was looking forward  to it and pulled the markers and paper out a few days back.  As I wrote my barriers or obstacles down I realized why I procrastinate to do much of my homework on Sunday. The following are the ideas of the barriers I am feeling through out the week.

My first barrier was the concept of time.  I feel like I never have enough.  Each day after work I come home with hopes of starting my reading for the week.  After dinner, sometimes I simply feel too tired from the days work to comprehend anything I read.  Tuesday turns into Wednesday and then I get started.   
 My next idea is that I worry I am not smart enough.  When I struggle with ideas or take too long to get started on assignment I tend to shut down.  For example coming up with idea for policy class Running into these bumps in the road cause me to rethink my decision to continue with school.  After it all comes together, I feel proud of myself, but it is that initial doubt that makes me want to run.
When the weekend comes around and now I have a paper due and most of my homework--I want to play.  I want to shop, I want to be outside, I want to clean the house, or visit my family.  Yesterday morning, I made a retaining wall outside with my husband.  Then I came in and worked about 8-9 hours and finished my paper around 10:00.
The next barrier I drew was lack of motivation.  Sometimes I just dont feel like doing what needs to be done.  I have always been responsible but I know I am better under pressure.  So this habit is why I wait until Sunday to complete my homework.  The last thing I drew about was worry that too much homework would cause me to burn out.  Summer was a perfect example of this.  That was a hard crazy summer and some of the group work were potential obstacles.

After all this I realized my schedule works for me.  The weekends are my time to really be available mindfully to concentrate and focus on my work.  I realize I am capable of completing this program and I do not need to be a perfectionist or have the best ideas the main thing is that I am learning something new as I go along. 

Free writing and walking down memory lane

The free writing exercise went well.  First, I was surprised that I pulled out a sheet of notebook paper because I associated the assignment with journaling.  Then I thought about it and said there is no reason why I cant do a word document.  Now not correcting it was a different story- I don't know if its out of habit but I could not go along and not correct my mistakes. Towards the end I was making myself not correct them.  My ten minutes flew by and I barely was able to revisit two places I have been.
 I ended up writing about my vacations when I was a teenager.  I wrote about my trip to Hawaii and then my senior trip was on a cruise.  I realized I kinda like to write about memories or things I have experienced.  It also gave me a chance to ponder on where those people are now.  For example, I had a friend who had moved to Hawaii and I was able to visit him but then we lost touched.  While writing about my cruise to Mexico I remembered our waiter and wondered where all the people I went with are today although I am still friends with Alysia, but its weird how life changes so much over time. 
Continuing on with my journey, I also spent a lot of time in Yosemite. My friend worked there, and I would travel there once a month to go rock climbing and hang out. I went to Mexico again when I was 22 and stayed in a condo in Cabo San Lucas. When thinking back on this vacation and friendships, I have stayed friends with all of them.  We continue to meet up every few months and stay in contact over Facebook. 
Well there are simply too many places I have been to sit and write them all.  But the last vacation I took was last year to Port Aransas, Texas with my husband.  We were at a sand castle festival and went shark fishing.  I remember we also road a fairy to get there.  I think it is time to plan a new trip next year, I am thinking of researching an Alaska Cruise.