Learning Silence 9/31/12

My first thought about silence reminded me of a conversation with a client I had a few months ago.  Her husband of five years had entered an outpatient program for alcohol addiction after a domestic violent situation landed him in jail.  At around thirty days in his sobriety she shared how she was a child of alcohol parents and how she was conditioned to deal with an alcoholic husband.  She shared how she felt awkward and uncomfortable with his sobriety, not arguing not fighting, and cried when she said she didn't quite know how to handle the "silence".  I guess I never thought silence could be good or bad.

This session caused me to dig deep to understand how some people are conditioned to live in daily chaotic conditions.  They in turn feel anxious in waiting for the next chaotic situation to arrive and are unsettled in quiet or calming situations.  I cant imagine living in a constant fight or flight mode, I think how emotionally exhausting this would be.  I wondered how the act of silence could be terrifying for people.  This is the reality for people who come from abusive homes and are in abusive relationships.  This is the reality being married to someone who struggles with drug or alcohol addiction.  This is how some family members live around a loved one with severe mental illness. 

So how does one teach silence?  Do they find it in a quiet room around the house?  Do they learn to meditate or do yoga? Do they venture out in nature? Do they sit quiet and journal?  I suppose it is up to the individual how to practice silence.  However, I think learning to appreciate silence can be a positive experience for all.  With an increase in technology and gadgets people don't do silence.  I think we all need to devote time to silence just as we all devote time to communicate.